It's been a long time since I posted, but I am not sure anyone is following it anyhow. But I am here as much for me if anything. In the last several days some horrific things have come out regarding gay men, primarily being tortured and killed in several middle eastern countries, especially Iraq. There is also a lot of unsettling things coming out of Uganda as well. I don't believe that anyone should sit by and allow this to continue silently. I don't care if you are gay, straight, Christian, atheist, or whatever. We need to contact our legislative representatives, the UN, human rights groups, etc. lets not allow these acts to go unnoticed or encouraged.

Those Mental Tapes we play in our mind

Why is it that the more negative messages we receive the more we hold on to them? I got a lot of bad messages growing up as a kid. From my dad who was never part of my life I got the message that I wasn't worth his time, and in turn I felt that I wasn't worth anyone's time. After all, your dad is supposed to be your biggest fan and when he isn't it must be your fault right? As a kid, I put that all on me, I didn't or couldn't put it on him. I know now that it wasn't about me, he was just a jerk. My step dad, who had issues of his own was extremely verbally, emotionally, and at times physically abusive. Growing up I was told on mostly a daily basis that I was worthless, useless, no account and wouldn't amount to anything, etc etc etc. Now I know that he was messed up, but he messed me up! Big Time. How do you undue that stuff. I know in my head that I am a good person, worthy of good things and that those things aren't true, but in my heart I am not so sure. I do self talk, positive reaffirmation, and try to dwell on good things, but I am afraid that those deep seated beliefs are too elusive.

Gay Marriage

It's been a pretty good week for those of us who still believe in equality. The Iowa Supreme Court has unanimously ruled the ban on gay marriage to be unconstitutional and gay marriage to begin there in 3 weeks. Also this week the West Virginia state legislature voted down the Marriage Amendment that the WV Family Council wanted, however, after listening to their sound bites concerning the victory in Iowa I am sure they will be back again.
It's a big step forward in our equality but we have a ways to go.

Fairness WV

Apparently my last post was a tad premature. As soon as I posted it I saw a link on my own site for this group. Maybe things aren't as bad as I thought.

Really Discouraged Today

It seems as though there is no end in the future to all the anti gay rhetoric. Now my state, West Virginia, looks like it's going to be the next battle ground on the marriage/discrimination front. The Family Policy Council of West Virginia, which is aligned with Focus on the Family is lobbying the state to add a referendum on the ballot, Even though our governor, Joe Manchin has stated that our existing law is sufficient and no challenge has arisen. West Virginia doesn't have much of a gay community, at least that I have seen. I guess in Wheeling, Charleston, Morgantown, Parkersburg and a few other cities may have some but in the area I am located there doesn't seem to be much of anything.
Most of the "christians" in this state, at least the ones I know, blindly follow the likes of Dr. Dobson without much thought, you would think his words were as equal to Jesus'. Sometimes I just don't feel like there is much use in fighting this fight anymore. I often wonder why God allows people who I know love and follow Him and pray religiously, and are never moved to even consider this issue.

Sparkpeople.Com

Do you have a few pounds to shed or maybe, like me, you have a lot to lose. I need to drop about 55 lbs. It is the hardest thing I think I have ever tried. I am great about making plans and getting started, I am also the king of do overs. I can't ever seem to stay on track. I know what to do, but doing it is another matter entirely. I can't seem to stay away from food, at least the bad kind.
One of the coolest websites that I have found in a long time is Sparkpeople.com, it's a great community that allows you to network with people from your area and around the world. There's some great information on there and some really awesome tools to use. Oh yeah, it's free too.
check out their site.

Spark People

It's Time for the Gloves to come off- Part 1

Most of the ex-gays that you hear from will tell you that they left the "gay lifestyle" because they were unhappy with it. I understand the rationale, because most of the "testimonies" that you hear or read talk about how they were throwing themselves away in the bars, bookstores, promiscuity, and the debauchery that goes with a partying lifestyle (whether one be homosexual or heterosexual). For most that is the only exposure to being gay that they have, it was that way for me.
In 1990 I dropped out of bible college and left the ministry and yes, I threw myself full long into sex, drinking, promiscuity, overeating, making bad choices, etc. etc. I would occasionally attend the MCC church in Charlotte, NC but could never seem to reconcile being gay and being a Christian. It is a struggle that has taken about 18 years but has come around.